Random Update
Good day/evening everypony, Template93 here. Gonna update you on some things, so I’ll try and keep it short. Lately (Or again), i’v had no real motivation for art. I could be mildly depressed again, but I don’t feel like I am. I just, don’t feel like drawing really, at least right now. I’v also slowed down once again, and time is skipping way too fast for me ATM. Like a month just disappeared from me (September) it seems, and it’s already coming up to mid October. Like, how? With the lack of motivation, and quantity of my art, I think I’m going to not really focus on my art. To start, I’m going to pause my Patreon account. I’m basically going to switch back to a “Per creation” post, instead of a “Per month cost, that way no money is being taken over there. I’v only had 1-2 supporters for the last couple years anyway, so it’s not like I’m missing out on much. This also comes with the fact, that I’m not as “Popular” as I once was. Last pic I posted took 45+ hours, and got some love, but not really enough to validate the effort it took me to make such arts. Even my other recent works before that toke 10-20 hours to make, but didn’t get too much love either. I could make NSFW content like I used too, but I like doing SFW stuff more. Maybe my art in general, just isn’t good enough anymore. IDK, just seems like a lot of work, for little in return. With that, I’m going to refund some money from Patreon, and try to finish what few commissions I have left. Just not going to worry about a schedule, or time frame from now on. Anytime I do, those plans fall apart. I’ll still make art, but it will pop up randomly whenever I feel like it. If I’m inspired and make something, hope you’ll see it. If not, then see you in a few months or something. Take care at least. I’ll just be noise in the background.
I showed up in a Minecraft video
Patreon is up and running!
Just finished setting up new tiers, and rewards as I begin my return in full swing!!!
I'll provide a link to my Patreon, as well as post the new pony mascots individually in their own posts!
Can't wait to see what this year will bring as I make my way back into things. i'v grown tired of only posting something once every several months, but no more! I'm wanting more! You probably want more! So let us see if I can deliver!
Any support can help me stay home more, then being at work (Which has drained me motivation, and free time). The more I can stay home, the more arts I can produce, as well as work on some big projects that I'd like to start/see finished!
Here is a link to my Patreon below, other wise, sit back and enjoy the ride, and lets make 2022 the year of my comeback! :D
I'm going to keep it honest with ya'll, I'v been tired this whole year basically. my 2020 roadmap went down hill almost immediately as the year started (Thanks Covid). I'v pulled overtime every week at work (Still do basically), and have been short staffed for months (We don't close for nothing). That means i'v been called in a lot to cover shifts (Because no one else could)(And not just me, other top people at work have done the same, and worked even more than me many times). Plus, why work when you make more on unemployment (It's really showed me how underpaid we are)(Also why we've had issues getting people hired)? Work in general just makes me tired (honestly, this reality makes me tired). Shifts are 9-12 hours long for me (Starting to get better now), and by the time I get home, I don't want to do anything but sleep, get some food, then get ready to go back to work. If I were to see a doctor about my low energy self, the only prescription I need is to not have a job. But that means no income if I just quit, so, guess that's out of the question. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that I had/have a job during the Pandemic (And in general, because money is nice to have), but at the same time, I'v really wanted to burn the place down. Many times. Sometimes with me in it. I'v gone through so much stress, had breakdowns during work, and minor thoughts of yeeting myself in front of a semi, or something, IDK. I'm pretty sure i'm at the point were I just hate being at work all together.
I'v returned to some personal issue where I can't seem to focus on arts. I can't seem to properly motivate myself into doing arts. I'm trying, but it takes me weeks to finish like, one pic. Just one! That's unacceptable to me. Like right now, iv had a pic ready to be colored and finished up for almost 3 weeks now (Like, how is time skipping past me this fast). On my days off, I'v noticed that I just don't want to do anything. I just want to sit down, or lay down, and do nothing. Even when I have time before, or after work. . . Time I could use to do something art related, I just don't want to. Either because I use the time to conserve energy for work, or relax after coming back from work (Depends if I'v closed or opened).
I have so many projects i'v wanted to do/finish. Sure all fan art related, but I'm told that people miss my arts. And that I genuinely put a smile on a good handful of people, because in a world that sucks as bad as ours, art can go a long way. I'm just frustrated with the world, and myself honestly. I'm more and more hating work, and myself as I don't really progress. It's; go to work. go home after work. chill, eat, sleep. go back to work, repeat for 5 to 6 days. Days off, either do some cleaning, watch a show/movies, eat sleep, possibly hang with parents or friends, then prepare for work for the next day. or to mix it up, work on a pic for the day, and not have the energy to work on it for weeks to months. Repeat for the whole year. Boy, how thrilling. So productive.
I hate feeling like this. I try to come back and be active. But I and the world, shoots me down. Current art i'm working on, like I mentioned. Half way finished. taking 3 weeks so far. Pic before that. took 8 months. . . I almost feel like why bother. Am I failing as an artist, or as a person? When did my failures start to pile up? Am I just going to work, sleep, eat, and repeat for the next 20? 30? 40? odd years, then die with no real accomplishments, other than not killing myself, and seeing how long I can "Live"?
I swear, i'm my own worst enemy. I hate a lot of things. I need to change. but I also don't want to, because why bother. I'll get a boost of energy, be super motivated, and then the world reminds me that, that's not going to happen. Or I just start thinking super negative things that's hard to argue back about.
I'm a failed artist, I think. I'v just failed in the things I want to do. Time skips at a fast pace as I go through the mundanes of life. Each year more time passes before me. Each year I create less. Stuck with a mind, filled with ideas. . . but stuck in a body and world that could care less.
I want to continue and push forward, but will this world allow that? If not, can I just go to bed, and not wake up? At least then I won't feel like i'm a disappointment. . .
I guess that's the end of my depressing thoughts. i'm off to bed. maybe i'll stop being so harsh on myself tomorrow. new day, new opportunities. Or just another day of work and, nothing else. . . guess i'll find out.
2020 Roadmap
With this new year, I have plans for what I would like to see myself accomplish. Even though the final episode of MLP has ended, i'm still full of MLP idea's that i'd like to draw (Once a Brony, always a Brony). I'v got quite a nice backlog of characters and idea's I want to draw. They include, but are not limited too; Sea Swirl, Octavia, Luna, Celestia (This one is an appreciation work), Rarity (A special art with a lesson behind it), Screw Loose, Chrysalis, my OC, and many more!
Another thing i'd like to accomplish, is to revisit my early works, when I first started making fan arts. I'd like to take some of them, and re-master them. This is more so that I can appreciate how much better i'v gotten sense my beginnings. With that, i'v noticed I did all my animations early on too. I'd like to fix that, by either re-mastering some old loops, or making some new ones (Or both). I think it could be real fun c:
Now that I have an idea on the smaller stuff, I also want to work on some BIG stuff. I have two projects in mind that i'd love to work on this year.
First; a non MLP project. It's actually Nerf related. I play a game called Humans Vs Zombies, which is a game of tag involving Nerf blasters. I'm currently in the early stages of making a fully custom, 3D printed blaster for myself, and possibly for sell if I can work out some details with a new pal of mine. I may or may not post a few things about it in the future, but we'll see how that plays out. so if i'm absent for a few moments, chances are i'm working on blueprinting, electrical, or other thing involving this project. This one has been bouncing in my mind for 2 years now. this year, I want to re-enter the battlefield with something unique, and amazing!
Second; a MLP project. This one is an interactive animation project that I want to work on. This project has been on the back burner for waaaaaaaay too long, and really needs my full attention. In the past, this project was attempted at many points, but with Flash no longer being a good option, and many unexpected difficulties, it never was fully fledged out. Now however, with better skill, understanding, and software, I think I can pull this project off, with the desired polish that I wanted from so long ago. While this project will be started from scratch, when I do work on it fully, i'll do my best to make this interactive animation as feature complete as I can. This project, may be harder then my Nerf one, but that's part of the challenge >:3
So yeah, that's my plans. Fully completed arts. Animated loops. Nerf Project. MLP interactive animated project. And whatever else in between. at least in regards to my arts.
Outside of arts, i'd like to work on my Patreon page. As it stands, it's pretty basic. But then again, I'm not one to paywall my core arts. If I do that, then that's less ponies that can enjoy my works. With how it's set up, there are 3 simple tiers. They all provide no extra rewards, as the posts I make are public. I claim support per creation, instead of a monthly. My goal is at least one art per month, but no more then two (When it comes to claiming for payment). Sadly, I don't have many supporters on it, but it's still an option for those who think i'm worth it. One thing I do have for supporters, is a Discord link to a group chat. The idea with that, is I can provide live updates, chat, or talk about possible creations I could do with suggestions and idea's. a more direct way to interact with some of you, as well as providing art I may not have thought of on my own. One thing i to do, is update the page, and take any suggestions on how to make it better, and maybe more "Worth it". Maybe some extra's for tiers, but i'm not sure. Would like some idea's from you fine folks if possible. If I can be a little more consistant, then hopefully that will help me with getting more support. The idea is that the more supporters I have, it will help motivate me to work more on arts, as well as have extra cash flow to put towards software, or get help from others with projects (these projects will take more then just me to make, and I want to make sure I composite for the help I receive). If you want to maybe support, or check out my page and give me some pointers, there here is a link > www.patreon.com/Template93
Any help if very much appreciated.
Aside from that, I think that's it from me. I'll do my best to get back in the grove of things, like how I was in the early 2010's.
Till next time, you all have a wonderful day, and hope to see your smiles soon from my work c: